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After my weigh-in for week 8, I went off the deep end again. It started with one little treat – once I allowed a little crack in the armor, it didn’t take much to bust it open. I was craving things, and it was easy to allow myself the cheat – but I lost all self control and binged. I can’t say that I remember ever binging like this before – to the point of making myself sick. Almost throw-up sick – actually think I would’ve felt better if I could have just purged it all – but I didn’t. AND not just one binge, but two. I was miserable.

I did finally stop and make myself think about what was going on … what am I feeling, what am I thinking, what messages am I telling myself? I found that my self-talk was very negative. I was saying things like, “I can’t do this anymore, I can’t take it, I’m hungry all the time, I am going crazy,” … but I kept repeating “I can’t …” Even though I continued to eat poorly on Saturday, I started changing my talk to “I can.” I want to finish well, I want to finish strong, I want to finish what I started. I can finish well, I can finish strong, I can finish what I started. I CAN do this.

Sunday was much better, followed by Monday when I started listening to some motivational and positive audio books that I have – which are helping me to keep my mind on track.  On Tuesday, I had a pep talk with Kim and so far since Sunday I’ve been 100% on track. I never realized how much of a mental exercise this was going to be.

Here’s my new plan:

  1. Keep the positive messages flowing in my head. I will do this through my favorite scripture, positive/motivational audio books and repeating helpful phrases. I have started notes on my iPhone with some phrases and am collecting meditations to listen to.
  2. Call upon a few friends when I feel like I am going off track. My goal is to call before I derail. Hold me to it.
  3. Continue to be completely honest with Kim (trainer) but perhaps I should talk to her a little sooner and not wait so long after the train is smoldering and sideways off the track. 🙂

Here’s an excerpt from Brian Johnson’s Book: A Philosopher’s Notes – On Optimal Living, Creating An Authentically Awesome Life and Other Such Goodness

Now, don’t get your undies in a wad over the language … the video is about commitment … Being 100% IN 

This, and many other concepts in this book, have helped me to put my experiences in perspective …

And this weeks results are: 157.2 lbs – total loss of 21.8 for this diet as well as the life time 90 day challenge. Of course, just because the 90 day challenge is over, doesn’t mean I’m stopping …

I’m 100% digging deep and
~Riding Strong