Recovery

I’m not talking about taking a day off of working out here … let’s talk about your hurts, habits and hang-ups. What baggage are you holding on to?

My journey of emotional healing began in 2007 … (which, btw, is when I finally started losing weight).

Before coming to Celebrate Recovery, I was in denial about needing help.  I thought that my problems weren’t really all that big or bad and that I could handle things on my own.  Despite the fact that internally I felt like my life was falling apart, I thought that I needed to be strong and put on the front that I had everything under control. I was also afraid that if others knew what I was struggling with, that they would reject me and be disgusted with me. I didn’t feel like I could take that risk. What would people think if they knew I didn’t have it all together AND if they knew the shame and darkness that haunted me?

But I felt like everything around me started crumbling.  Everything that I relied on fell away. I lost my job and was unemployed for 9 months, my closest relationships were in a shamble, there was constant conflict in my home, and numerous attacks from family members. I got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore and a friend suggested I see our counselor at church.

I began counseling in the fall of 2007.  Several months into counseling, sometime around early summer of 2008 I noticed that I was not eating all the time and I was losing weight.  The weight loss was an unintentional, yet surprising and welcomed side effect of counseling.  I wasn’t trying to lose weight at that time but I began filling my life with other things (my relationship with God and developing healthy relationships with people, healthy activities …) instead of trying to fill my emptiness/voids with food.

Then my counselor suggested that I find people to walk with me through the journey of healing. Because CR was mentioned often in church, I finally decided to check it out.  In the fall of 2008 I started attending Celebrate Recovery and I found a safe place to share my darkest secrets, my deepest hurts and God began releasing me from shame and continued to heal my wounds.  In CR I have accountability and people who genuinely care about me – they even care enough to confront when needed.  Since I can’t be in counseling forever, CR is now my place to be me and continue to deal with the junk that life throws at me.

God has changed me from the inside out – truly. I am a new person – I even look differently. CR has provided me with the accountability and the tools I need to keep the junk from building up again. Without the burden of shame and guilt that plagued me for so long, I am free to be a woman – something I despised before CR, I am free to try new things – not frozen in fear or worried about what others might think, I am free of an addiction that held me hostage for over 20 years, and God has even helped me to overcome the fear of the microphone. Before CR I couldn’t even fathom speaking to groups of people and now I get to share my testimony with CR groups all around the area – this is one of my favorite parts of serving in CR.  God has also changed my view of people – I used to be judgmental and unaccepting of people who were different from me – but now I can accept and love them right where they are – He has given me compassion for them which has helped me to reach out to and love people of different lifestyles and religious beliefs.

It’s 2012 and I’m still in CR. I’m a lifer. God has given me the honor of a front row seat to watching His miraculous healing and interventions in peoples’ lives.  There’s nothing better in life than seeing transformed lives. Really – I’m in awe.

To find a CR group near you, go to http://www.celebraterecovery.com/

Read the rest of my weight loss journey ….

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Recovery”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s